Assignment feedback!

benninetytwo's picture

Hello everybody!

I have just started my graphic design course and the assignments require us to get feedback from other people. My current assignment is to design a wine label and get feedback.

If anyone can help and give me some constructive criticism on my designs, it will be greatly appreciated! I'm still getting used to photoshop, illustrator etc etc. So please take it easy on me and please keep in mind that these are just quick drafts to give you an understanding of how I want my designs to look.

THANK YOU! (:

AttachmentSize
winejpeg.jpg40.64 KB
Winelabel.jpg63.7 KB
George Thomas's picture

These forums are for people whose primary interest is type and type technology, not general design. While you may get some answers, you probably would get more feedback in a forum targeting designers.

I will say your grapes look distorted and shouldn't.

Now, if you have a type-related question, this is the place to come -- and you're always welcome.

Vladimir Tamari's picture

I like the lettering in "Ben's Blend". If you did that using bezier curves I would say its pretty good for an Illustrator beginner. If not learn bezier curves by trying to reproduce this lettering curve by curve. The yellow outline with the red inside is too busy - Make the outline stroke thinner. Better still make the outline thicker with a lighter color, but do not add an outline stroke.The thin red type on black is illegible - use a thicker font and/or much lighter red.
And the grapes are distorted - why not use illustrator's brush mode to make a simple illustration for the grapes instead this nondescript photo?
Good luck.

bojev's picture

Remove the outline stroke on Ben's Blend and fix the horrible distortion of the grapes. The dark background is also not a great idea for a wine label.

JamesM's picture

Welcome to Typophile.

As others have mentioned, the grapes don't look right, it looks like the proportions have been altered by reduction of the height.

And in the small type, the combination of burgundy type on a black background can be difficult to read because of the low contrast, especially for older customers, or for anyone in dim lighting. I'd suggest a lighter type color (maybe that light yellow you're using) for the small type, and switching to a bolder script.

russellm's picture

Just lose the grapes. Focus on the type treatment. Keep it simple. Watch your alignment.

(for my 2¢)

DrDoc's picture

These forums are for people whose primary interest is type and type technology, not general design.

Why? Shouldn't people who are interested in type also be interested in how it's used? Type doesn't exist in a vacuum. Maybe I'm biased because I'm a graphic designer, but I feel the best type designers are the ones who understand how people use type — people like Kris Sowersby, Tobias Frere-Jones, Erik Spiekermann, etc.

hrant's picture

I agree that we shouldn't be too narrowly focused on type, but focus does matter.

BTW to me the best type designers are those can imagine how type should be used, as opposed to simply filling mainstream demand.

hhp

Martin Silvertant's picture

In addition to the feedback already given, I wouldn't make such prominent use of script faces. With every text you add in script, the other texts become less prominent and less impressive. You might want to use a script for the name and use a roman typeface for the lines you have set in a script typeface. You need to focus more on the hierarchy of the typography.

I also have to ask why you would want to censor our feedback. Why should we go easy on you? So you don't have much experience yet, I don't think you should expect us to be vile in our comments either way. If I ask for feedback I want it uncensored. It might hurt, but I will learn a lot more from it. By "going easy" on you, you might not get the most out of feedback.

DrDoc's picture

I agree, Hrant.

EDIT: I should've mentioned Christian Schwartz. I'm fairly certain you're not a Helvetica lover, Hrant, but using Neue Haas Grotesk is a real pleasure.

DrDoc's picture

Since you posted this a few weeks ago you're probably not still looking for feedback, but:

What about this wine makes it different than other wines? Who's going to drink it? How are you going to appeal to that person? Since it's an Australian wine, maybe you can look into using Australian typefaces?

It's a blend, right, or at least that's what the name says? Maybe you can do something playing off of that — maybe the word mark is a script made up of multiple differently-colored "threads" that twist together to make the letterforms.

hrant's picture

I don't always use a grot, but when I do I prefer Unica.
Set rag-right, my friends.

hhp

DrDoc's picture

Oh, also, get off of the computer and sketch. You say that you're still getting used to Photoshop, Illustrator etc, so trying to get your ideas out in a computer is slowing you down a lot right now.

Martin Silvertant's picture

This is off-topic but I just had a look at Neue Haas Grotesk and I wouldn't be anxious to use that. I can't stand Helvetica though. I think I prefer Unica over Neue Haas Grotesk, but I feel in contrast to Helvetica, ironically Neue Haas Grotesk doesn't seem to pretend to be something it's not.

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