This is my first post so please be honest and don't hold back. I've been approached by a entrepreneur who is building s string of 24 hour gyms in the Berkshire area for 18 plus the audience is for people who are your average Jo looking to get fit, to your pro weekend warrior who are fed up with high gym prices. The only terms were that it should look professional, clean, simple, bright and bold, oh and it must use florescent pink, blue, or green.
So I did my research and looked at competitors as one does and then I started sketching he liked the concepts but couldn't settle on one of them so he enlisted the help from another designer who would design it his way, after going through 9 iterations I did for him. Now I'm not saying my designs look amazing because they don't, they could do with a lot of work, critique and tweeking and the right font for starters, which I'm hoping I can get from here.
After the other design I wanted to simplify it and use fonts that would be right for the audience, the more I look at it though the more I think the logo should be on one line.
My counter design
What do you think Typophile? If anyone has any critique, advice etc please let me know. The client has settled on pink and not using bevel now and understands why we need to make the logo simpler.