Get your business logo in an hour!

meredithalix's picture

This morning's spam:

From: "Neil Walker" <>
Subject: Get your business logo in an hour!
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2003 15:44:58 +0000 (GMT)

Get your business logo in an hour!

Do you need a logo for your company, website, or event? Then you've already talked to several design firms that asked you from $500 to $2000 for 3-5 mockups, and promised to have your logo done in a month or two. But why spend a lot of time and money on a logo you may not finally like at all, just because it is custom?

Now you have an opportunity to have a great logo that you really like in just a few minutes, risk-free, and at unbeatable price. Swift Logos offers pre-made logo designs that allow you to create your own custom logos without having to hire an expensive design studio.

You can choose the logo you like most from hundreds of great pre-made logos created by our professional designers, and instantly receive it in editable Adobe Illustrator and Corel Draw files. Write in your company name and slogan, and in no time you will be able to use it for your company letterheads, brochures, website, and other marketing materials. Do it yourself or have us customize it to fit your needs.

Get Your Logo Now!
Neil Walker

Dan Weaver's picture

Meredith, eeeeewwww! How tacky, what rock did that slime crawl out from under and how can we get it to go back. Dan

Nick Shinn's picture

What a great idea!

In fact the "templates" are just clip art in standard AI, Corel formats.

So the business plan is related to stock imagery, with varying levels of licensing/exclusivity.

However, there would certainly be copyright issues down the road if two separate businesses licensed the same image from Switf and thought they had made sufficient changes to it qualify for a unique copyright.

And of course, the font police should be alerted:

"Please remember to intall the font prior to attempting to edit the logo. You can use any font you choose but for your convenience, we supply you with the font that we use in the sample."

Nick Shinn's picture

The font in question:

>Square 721 Bold Extended BT.ttf
(aka Eurostile)

Is that freeware?

.00's picture

BT. thats BItstream, no? Last time I looked Bitstream wasn't shareware.

meredithalix's picture

Dan, there's nothing like rotten spam for breakfast.

We could always email the guy, not that it would do any good. It's only fitting that he has an AOL address.

I couldn't staunch my curiosity: I went to his site to check out these works of art. They average about US $30 per logo, and range from the bad to the ridiculously bad. This one is a special gem.

Dan Weaver's picture

Meredith, I saw your special gem. I think I'm going to be ill. Dan

meredithalix's picture

Antidote for Dan: take a Louise Fili and a Milton Glaser and call me in the morning.

antiuser's picture

I wonder what they'll say when they see the link to this thread on their referrers :-)

Dan Weaver's picture

Thank You Meredith, feel better already. What I'm courious about, do you think this 1 hour logo guy actually designed his templates himself or do you think he just ripped off other peoples work?

union's picture

As we all know, the way in which a business projects itself is one of the most valuable tools a company has.

If someone thinks they can get the right image for there business from stock logo art and for such a low price then I would imagine that there business has little chance of succeeding.

Serious business people know the value of good design.


aquatoad's picture

Hi Tanya.

That's the temporary tatoo that came out of a Cracker Jacks box. Photographed under fishnet stockings. Glad I could help.


tsprowl's picture


ok but what is the tattoo of? this is what I see. a train with a granny face on the mount, and a ladies heeled boot. some small white birds stapled to the side of the train with lots of gray palette knife scrapes?

antiuser's picture

Haha, I hadn't seen the granny face until you mentioned it.

aquatoad's picture

I'm pretty sure this would have won the judges over.
I have to say the sample was very easy to use.
And I now have a pirated copy of Square 721 Bold Extended BT!


Tanya. No, no, no. <i>Actually</i> that's a miniature version of a Miss Saigon poster, with a decapitated granny holding a longboard. But you are correct. Those are in fact small white birds stapled to the poster.

meredithalix's picture

No way, Tanya, anyone can see that it's a cruise ship coming into harbor with a giant birthday cake on top, while the Nurse in the Moon smiles down on everything. Perfect for Your Company's image.

aquatoad's picture


antiuser's picture

Wow, you spelled Kustom with a 'K'! That's very edgy and modern!

Dan Weaver's picture

Can we send this thread to those creative geniuses? Knock their creative genius down a few pegs.

porky's picture

I think we need to have an antidote to this very worthy thread featuring dreadful logos that cost the client over $100,000.

karen's picture

This thread is funny. Have you guys seen this?

jay's picture

Oh, my...

If You Can Point And Click
With A Mouse, You Can Make $100,000 A Year Or More As A
Desktop Graphic Designer

[lots of stuff snipped]

3 Things You Need to Succeed
There are just a few musts to succeed in this business

antiuser's picture

"Catherine receives all of her work by fax and email. She cuts and pastes it on her computer, and then changes it around to make it readable. Then she emails the completed job back to her client."

I want to make $100k/year from cutting up faxes and putting them back together as well...

grid's picture

What I find unfathomable is that people actually pay for this junk. It

Chris Rugen's picture

I think it'd be funny to email her asking for a list of clients for 'testimonials' and then email her clients this website.

"I make crap! You can too!"

It's almost not worth getting angry about. I couldn't believe it wasn't parody, until I got to the bottom and clicked link to 'order' my new life as an ignorant, bottom-feeding troll.

OK, maybe it does make me angry.

karen's picture

The next time a client tells me he needs his logo yesterday (yuck!) OR that his budget is $2, I'm sending him to swift-logos.
At least he can't rip them off, they all protected by the fishnet pantyhose. Hooray!

andrew_baker's picture

For a new low price I'll build an identity package tailored to your needs using my own feces. So far, 4 styles. More to come.

Just gotta wash my hands...

andrew_baker's picture


Joe Pemberton's picture

SWEET! Now I can just order logos from this guy and have a
huge markup! My days of actually working are done!

I'm imagining the conversation now...
"Yeah, Neil. I'll take two of the catchy and a side of the
deluxe. Can I rush that?... Yeah, say 40 minutes?... Great.
Yeah, just put it on my tab. Thanks. Ooh, wait, you guys
have Handel Gothic now? Dude. Hook a brotha up..."

Joe Pemberton's picture

Woah, "Full Ownership Rights: Add $69"

Syndicate content Syndicate content