Your thoughts & critique

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Hey Now's picture
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Joined: 26 Sep 2003 - 11:45pm
Your thoughts & critique
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This needs a tweak or two, but I can't seem to find it. Any thoughts?
Thanks, Chicky

Jelmar Geertsma's picture
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Joined: 14 Sep 2006 - 9:53am
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The information piece in white seems compressed, not a condensed version of a typeface? If so, I would strongly suggest to find a suitable real condensed face. Which would look more natural.
Using less different typefaces can help as well. Pick one or two nice ones, a sans and a serif maybe. Ones that have different weights.

Apart from that, the gradient in the left 'save the date' looks a bit, I don't know, cheesy. With all due respect of course.
And there is alot of stuff that asks for attention, which may overwhelm the message you are trying to deliver.

Frank Augugliaro's picture
Joined: 4 Jan 2007 - 9:13am
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Very busy and overwhelming. Find a balance and rank your elements in level of importance and aesthetic value. I also agree with the condensed type comment, there are many a nice looking font out there that should suit your needs.

Tim Daly's picture
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Joined: 11 Sep 2003 - 9:04am
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The first thing I see is Save the Date wheras the important things, to me, are Mardi Gras in Paris II, followed by the date/time*, venue and ticket information. At the moment, after the banner, the logo and the subordinate copy overpowers the event title. The masks are almost rendered invisible while the Eiffel Tower has too much prominence (and there are some marks on the second storey which are stroked in black which would probably be better as black fill).

Tim
*leaving aside the irony of celebrating mardi gras over a month after the event and on a Saturday

Blank's picture
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Joined: 25 Sep 2006 - 2:15pm
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Jelmar is right, there's something really odd about the that serif. Personally, I'd lose that face entirely and use a lighter weight of the sans you used for the big type below.

The swirls near the word SAVE are creating some nasty tension points where they get neat the banner. Reduce the size of the small one and get it away from the banner, and lose the little arc over the larger one. The same sort of tension points appear where letters on different lines are touching in the text at the bottom.

I'd also do the "SAVE THE DATE" banner completely differently. That typeface doesn't work stylistically with anything else in the poster, and neither does arbitrarily tilting it.

The piece is also over-the-top visually; between the text, the swirls, the dancing guy, the masks, and the Eiffel tower, there's too much going on. I would tone down the swirls and lose the dancing guy.

If you're going to darken your colors in the background pick darker colors, don't use transparency tricks. It makes the overlap a bright little distraction, and darkening yellow by adding black makes the yellow look dirty, not darker.

Bob Evans's picture
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Joined: 18 May 2005 - 7:20am
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White text needs less leading so it reads more as a block

Alexander Kominek's picture
Joined: 10 Dec 2004 - 6:27pm
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What font is the white text in? To me it looks like it may have been replaced by Adobe Serif, though I'm not sure.

- Lex

Hey Now's picture
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Joined: 26 Sep 2003 - 11:45pm
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Wow! Great opinions all. I'll post the new version soon.

Lex - you are correct.

Thank you :)

Nathanael Bonnell's picture
Joined: 1 Jun 2005 - 8:15pm
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Hey, that's the day I'll turn 18!