I recognize myself in your description. I did an intern in a small office where I spent most of my time redrawing logo’s. They offered me a job & hesitantly I agreed thinking I’d keep my eyes open for a more creative job. Now my job description has expanded to -mostly making the layout for dull advertisements in cheap papers/magazines- & every now & then (whenever we get a more “creative” task) designing a logo or housestyle. I have to say that in my case I’ve changed my opinion of what I want to do & now actually enjoy dull assignments. When I graduated from high school I was very excited about finally going to art school, but everything about it disappointed me to a level that I stopped drawing for a couple of years (I used to draw manually & wanted to become a cartoonist ever since I was a kid). At that point, I was getting some recognition for my comics, but I wasn’t able to do anything with it ’cause I lost the will to draw. Currently, I’m constantly drawing in my spare time & LOVE the fact that you don’t have to make any compromises. You’re your own best judge & personally I always have trouble communicating about my designs with people who know *** about it. I keep my dull job just to escape from the risc of losing my hobby. I don’t know if this makes any sense to you at all, but let me put it this way: if you really enjoy being creative, no job will stop you from doing so except maybe one that requires you to be creative and compromise in your designs. A lot of people here will probably disagree with me, but my advice is: don’t mix business with pleasure!

I hear you, Asvetic. Been there, felt that. Comfort is the enemy!

One way I got out of that was by switching jobs, but since you can’t do that just yet, I have a few suggestions:

If there is some specific area of design that you’ve always been particularly keen on and want to get into in Philly, start preparing for that now by giving yourself assignments to do in your spare time. You can also look at it as a portfolio-building endeavor.

Another way would be to sign up for a design-related workshop or class — something that would get you in touch with like-minded individuals, teachers, etc., who could offer you a fresh perspective on design. Since you are here on Typophile, I suggest a letterpress class, but it could be anything that would get you out of the box you are in. (Maybe you could even do some informational interviews at other studios where you now live.)

Also, just remind yourself that you won’t be in that job forever, and that things aren’t hopeless. :-)

Get out of the office and get inspired. Go spend a week in Philadelphia; visit your family, check out the museum, root around in old bookstores, watch an opera. Creativity is a subconscious process that requires constant fueling, it sounds like you need a lot of fuel.

Yep, my first Fiction writing teacher told us that he decided, when he realized that what he really wanted to do with his life was write, that he needed to find a job that would not be satisfying, and not use any of his creative juices so that he would be motivated to write, have the creativity to do it, and keep his ambitions of writing.

He worked on train gangs up north, but that left him too exhausted to write, so he ran away from there and became a taxi driver. He wrote his first novels that way.

But of course, that approach removes the comfortable living.
I can relate, too. I’m in a job with no hope of going anywhere better, and I am rapidly running out of things to learn, but it pays the bills and so I’m not entirely motivated to shake up my world right yet.

K.

...I lost the will to draw.

In a nutshell... yes!

I remember in college, I was such a cocky jerk about design. I had a lot of my profs in my pocket. I was outspoken and made a point to comment on everything any chance I got. I found most of the design projects were “easy” and I wouldn’t put as much effort as I could/should have. After school I felt I was OWED a job in a well established design house, oh the reality hit me VERY VERY HARD! My father actually found me a place in his company and for the last 3 years the confidence I had in college slowly suffocated under the shear boredom of my work. I’m not under-appreciated for my talents, but I’m not necessarily challenged either.

I know a lot of people would kill for my position, and I shouldn’t complain, but I have this feeling I’ve “sold out” and not in a good way.

I don’t want to do what I love for a living. What I love has to be protected at all costs.

When I was a professional musician it fundamentally changed my relationship to music and it took me years to repair that after I changed careers.

So I’m a musician at heart and I design for a living. It’s a very good compromise for me. I really like design and take it very seriously, but when someone tells me to move the logo a quarter inch to the right, it’s annoying but it doesn’t hurt my heart…

In the meantime back in my bedroom I can play whatever I want whenever I want.

peace

It is easy to think a “dream job” will just visit you one day soon and all will be well. The truth is, any job is work and much of it is not fulfilling and creative. Dream jobs rarely happen and some of those dreams evolve into nightmares. This is not a design career issue. It is an any career issue. You get paid to do the things someone else either can’t or does not want to do. Much of it is not fun, all of it is work. You are already planning a change which is good. Realize that wherever you go, it will never be like school again. You pay them to go to school—they pay you to work. This creates different expectations. Customers have more say-so than employees because they pay the bills. I know this sounds cold and unencouraging. You do have other options though. Youcan find your satiation in outside interests, you can periodically change jobs, and you can start your own office. Starting your own office means much more responsibility and less free time as well as that sinking feeling that you may not cover expenses that month. The reward is more creative freedom but that is ALWAYS tempered by the needs and or desires of the client. Don’t “expect” to be given nothing but plumb jobs with big budgets. It won’t happen. It seems there is a roughly 90-10 rule. You work hard through 90% of your work doing less than exciting stuff so that you might get the opportunity to do something better with the remaining 10%.

ChrisL

It may sound defeatist, but I find that what Paul Cutler said works for me as well. I’d gotten into a rut doing web design. One evening I found myself looking at photos of dry cleaning establishments in strip malls in Naples, Florida and I was just paralyzed. I just couldn’t fathom what I could do with them. I’m a decent designer, but as a freelancer I was never a good salesperson, and as far as being a professional... I was really only ever an amateur. Now I’m in grad school to be a librarian, which will suit me as a career much better and I can be an amateur designer again. Already I feel energized, taking on little projects for environmental goups, rock bands, political campaigns, just the stuff that I feel like doing but couldn’t really do before because it didn’t pay enough and took too much time.

My advice is to be proactive. If you still want to stay in design, figure out a few places in Philly that you might want to work for and write letters to them. Be very specific in your letters as to why you want to work for THEM. Studios, publishers, everybody likes enthusiasm. I was in a somewhat dead-end yet comfortable (and fun) job once and about to be offered a job I was very ambivalent about (creatively, not financially) and sent out a bunch of letters cold to places I wanted to work for, got a great response - the two publishers I was most excited about ended up offering me jobs.

Really if you have serious creative aspirations get out of where you are. It will kill your spirit and do nothing for your portfolio. And during the process, take on small freelance design jobs as they arrive to broaden your samples.

Well, I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who keeps business & pleasure apart ;-) Obviously in my case -as in your case, Asvetic- they do cover the same territory, but the rules are different. I have also considered changing careers completely -make a 120° turn even, but the problem is that I’m only qualified for graphic design. I’ve never really cared about how much I make as long as I’m not unhappy with what I’m doing & with that in mind I might even look for a job in a video- or musicstore (2 other passions).
I’m frequently asked to “design” things for friends & family -& even though they trust me enough to give me carte blanche- I always feel inhibited to do MY thing. Giving myself little projects to do suffies for me to silence that creative bug. I write as well, so I have the opportunity to shift between hobby’s whenever I get stuck. Some people have this amazing gift where they can always -under any given circumstances- inspire themselves. I myself depend on the inspiration my muse brings me. Sometimes she’s overloaded, sometimes she carries nothing... but I’ve learned to deal with that. I just let every idea I get grow on its on accord. This way I get the best results & I’ll always have something to do. In a work environment, results are expected within a given deadline & personally I like to distance myself from a piece of work for a while before judging it. So I keep my dull job & I keep enjoying myself in my spare time. For me, this is the perfect solution. Besides, there are always other ways to get the “recognition” you can get from a satisfying job... There’s plenty of places (online & offline) where creative talent is shown however the artist wanted it to be, even when it seems utterly useless.
Funnily enough, I’m currently writing about this, how I see my (personal) work & what I hope to achieve with it & I’ve had a really long discussion with a friend lately who encouraged me to dò something with my designs. The conclusion is that my hobby is MY hobby & the only reward I need from that is the pleasure I get from looking at the result (keeping in mind the whole work process) & that any “confirmation” from outside is merely a bonus to me. Work is only a necessary evil to pay the bills.

I don’t judge my design work. I do like some pieces better than others but when it’s done I move on. I am all about process and that’s how I stay creative. I also don’t judge myself in terms of “Am I a good designer?”. It doesn’t matter what I think, that’s for others to decide.

peace

Paul that’s very noble of you, but I’ll be hard pressed to find many other designers that share that same mentality. I don’t specifically judge myself, it’s more of an unconscious comparison to other designs and designers that I come in contact with. I know I’m capable to doing more than I’ve been doing and I know I haven’t been successful at reaching my full capabilities. I haven’t been pushed and I haven’t been pushing myself.

But, how do you know if the process is successful? How do you know if you’re failing enough? The one thing that keeps the art in design is the constant sense of doubt the designer [sic] artist has. A piece is NEVER finished, it just reached a point that it was acceptable and the process has been satisfactory in achieving a solution. It’s NEVER finished because there are infinite solutions with infinite processes.

I know when I’ve done a good design. However, a good design can easily get shot down by a client who has a different vision than mine. So I no longer beat myself up when they request changes that (to me) weaken it. I have enough in my portfolio now that I can’t get too worked up if every single piece isn’t smashing. It’s harder to accept that when you’re just starting out. Pick my battles, I guess.

I don’t think you should get hung up on whether or when the design is finished. Sometimes you nail it pretty quickly, other times it’s more of a process. And sometimes it’s worth working thru alternate solutions even if you’re pretty sure you got it right the first time, you might surprise yourself. I find (more often than not) if I can basically “see” the design in my head before I start it’s more likely to be successful. If I initially draw a blank, I can oftentimes work up something I (and the client) am happy with but it may not make it into my portfolio.

I also find that it can be tremendously gratifying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. There are books I’ve done that I’d never show anybody because they’re boring or dumb but I can still look at them and know I did a good design. And enjoy the process.

——-

I should add that I don’t design for fun. I design for work. I do think it’s fun (and recognize that I’m lucky to like my day job) but I’m not invested in being the best or most famous or most ground-breaking earth-shattering designer around. My creative outlet (and passion) is painting.

That’s exacltly what takes me so long to “finish” something to my own satisfaction. I tend to set bounderies for every design (or rather let the design set its own bounderies as it grows) & then try all possible designs within those bounderies. It’s often very hard to -objectively, as far as that’s possible ofcourse- compare two or more results & that’s where a little time & distance come in handy. When working on something for too long, I get too sunk into it that I can’t even tell what’s good anymore. I have many unfinished designs & half-ideas that will most likely never be realized, but every now and then I find a second breath for a specific design & I can re-enjoy working on it. I very often can’t help but wonder what the *** I was thinking when I look at a design after a while, but that’s probably part of a natural evolution. Even if you don’t want to, subconciously you will always find your skills, taste & talent evolving which obviously leads to a different view on your designs (sometimes -if not most of the time- even dissatisfaction). But in the end, you have to see it how it is: a learning process of which each step can be enjoyed.
I really lòve this thread, does it show? ;-p

For inspiration and practical advice, I really recommend this book:

How to be a Grahpic Designer Without Losing Your Soul

It’s not for everyone, but if you’re in a design rut I found the writing to be inspiring. I work at a newspaper with a less-than-creative/afraid-to-take-risks environment. I often get into a rut and wonder when I’ll have a chance to do better work with more creative people.

This book gave me a little pep talk with a thoughtful forward by Stefan Sagmeister, interviews with the likes of Neville Brody and lots of practical advice about interviewing, preparing résumés, getting work, etc.

I read that book maybe a year ago and I didn’t find the writing to be inspiring however; Stefan’s foreword aside. This might sound weird, but the way it was written, Adrian Shaughnessy made me feel as if he was talking down to me. I didn’t find his examples very relevant to my situation either.

I recommend reading it, but I agree, I don’t think it’s for everyone.

I’m like Patty - I rarely design for fun. I know the piece is done when it’s deadline.

Am I insecure? Undoubtedly, but I’m over trying to decide where I fit in the ranks. I just try to approach each piece with the same care and have faith that the process and my talent will get me there.

I don’t look at my old pieces just like I don’t listen to my old bands. That’s just the way I have found to work and remain in the moment, which for me is a necessary part of the “process”.

I live for the process basically, others can decide on the results of that.

peace

This might sound weird, but the way it was written, Adrian Shaughnessy made me feel as if he was talking down to me.

I agree, the writing is a bit condescending sometimes. But I think overall its advice made me take another look at my pessimism. I was able to look past its tone and internalize what it was saying.

I absolutely love Philly when I visit, so I’ll just encourage you to get there as soon as you can. Good luck with everything.

My advice is to be proactive. If you still want to stay in design, figure out a few places in Philly that you might want to work for and write letters to them. Be very specific in your letters as to why you want to work for THEM.

I [...] got a great response — the two publishers I was most excited about ended up offering me jobs.

That is great advice Patty, and an encouraging true story, too. :-)

Really if you have serious creative aspirations get out of where you are. It will kill your spirit and do nothing for your portfolio.

Beware situations that kill your spirit. Very true.

I just had another hour long discussion (it seems to be the theme of this week for me ;-) ) with a friend who asked me to make a few cards by next week. The only conclusion I can make from that is that in these cases silence is indeed golden. People often don’t seem to see the process a design has to go through before being done. Even if something ends up looking encredibly simple (which is mostly the case in the things I do) & even if the design itself really IS simple, it doesn’t necessarely imply that the process of getting there was equally simple. I usually find the hardest part of designing limiting myself & trying not to overdo things. The easy answer is never the most obvious & you have to through different phases of narrawing it down & letting go of things.
Also the matter of “designing for fun” remains an issue for me. I guess -depending on how you would interprete “for fun”- I never really do anything for fun. I draw things just to get the ideas out of my head so I can get some sleep. If I leave an idea untouched, it will drive me crazy... I at least have to give myself the opportunity to check if an idea is actually worth persuing. Drawing to me is like an itch I hàve to scratch. I know this probably sounds cocky, but that’s the best way I can describe it. The pleasure for me lies in seeing it develop & the reward I get from the final result, but everything I do starts with some kind of (compulsive) “need” to do it (whether that comes from an idea I get or from a task that is being given to me). And as for my job, well, that just pays the bills. In some kind of paradoxal way I actually enjoy nòt enjoying my job ;-) I’m not unhappy with what I do & in the end I know I’ll still get that pleasure in my own time.

>“Ultimately, I’d really like to move on.”

I don’t believe you.

________
Hiro

Ah, I am not alone!

I also don’t judge myself in terms of “Am I a good designer?”. It doesn’t matter what I think, that’s for others to decide.

I try to live by the same rule. But, I work with people who don’t know very much about graphic design— so they’re easy to please at times. :)

that he needed to find a job that would not be satisfying, and not use any of his creative juices so that he would be motivated to write,

I have found this true for myself as well. This conflict helps me work harder towards my true aspirations.

most of us have been in your position. but then, i imagine a lot of engineers and doctors and plumbers go through the same funks from time to time.

i don’t think i’m of the “that’s for others to decide” school... ultimately, design is an objective art and we have tto please client, audience and our own sensibilities. to my mind, those are three sides of the triangle, and EACH is equal in importance.