chopping block, please!

anastasia's picture

Hi, there!
I would love some feedback on this draft--it's my first attempt at making a typeface. Suggestions and corrections will really help me tackle the uppercase letters. As far as lowercase letters, u, f, r, n, and m feel most iffy to me. Help!
And I just want to get a sense whether this is worth putting more energy into.
Many thanks,

for_critique.pdf39.72 KB
cerulean's picture

The right stroke of u and the heavy stroke of x are too heavy. The crossbar of f and t might need to be less geometric in design. The g seems to be slipping off the baseline and about to unravel onto the floor.

And, yes, it's quite nice and certainly worth it.

ebensorkin's picture

I agree with Kevin. I would add: To avoid the problem with the g move the bottom bowl up somewhat. You might pare down the inner serif at the base of the u. I would look for the letters to feel more even in weight overall. The ascenders look to heavy to me on the b,d, k & so on. You might want to try flipping the serif at the top of the vertical stroke on the p. The top of the t looks clotted. You v looks like it might tip to the right. That's a visual balance issue.

All the letters seem to be made of bones. Is that the idea? Or am I seeing something you didn't intend?

I especially like your a & your r e & j.

Keep going.

anastasia's picture

Thanks--this is helpful.
I haven't carefully looked at the set overall (so busy focusing on individual letters) and there are definitely strokes that are too heavy and glare at you.
I wasn't quite sure what to do with the crossbars--will play with it further. Maybe something like the crossbar of the t, but less heavy?
Would a heavier link on g help?
I'd be curious to see what you think when I make some corrections.
Again, thank you!

anastasia's picture

Hello. Thanks for taking the time to respond. This really helps.
Should the ascenders just be shorter and/or thinner? I missed the v issue altogether. A clotted t--not good!
If you feel like checking back in after a few days, I'd love to hear what you think of the new version.
You are right, I was thinking bones, drift wood and rocks polished by water as an inspiration. If you are familiar with Henry Moore's sculptures and drawings, I am playing with a similar energy. (I hope it's not freaky!) This design is just my exploration of organic shapes and getting personal experience of just what it really takes to make a serif face. I wanted to know how letters are really created and what a damned challenge it is. An exercise in appreciating the masters.
Thank you for feedback!

guifa's picture

For the t (going with Eben's comment), I might try having both the bottom left corner of the crossbar be the same as the bottom right one (eg, more straight-line, tight curve, straight line again, rather than extra lead-in you've given it...erp, the same as on the f, less the top portion of course). The way it is now pulls the filled part down visually below the cross bar, I think that's what makes it seem a little blob-like.

«El futuro es una línea tan fina que apenas nos damos cuenta de pintarla nosotros mismos». (La Luz Oscura, por Javier Guerrero)

anastasia's picture

Yeah, Matthew, I see what you're saying. The left side seems to sag below the right.
Thank you!

cyberdouglas's picture

I really dig the x and the y. Why? The top of the letters -- where the serifs meet the stroke -- remind me of molars. And the g has such a fantastic ascender. I want the postscript file...

ebensorkin's picture

Thanks for explaining your idea. That's interesting.

Having looked again I can't tell if you are making a face that you intend for setting headlines in or text or if you want the face to be like the Font with Ice on it that they use for selling ice. Only this one might say Bones. Do you see what I mean?

I hestitated to write that but it's the ambiguity of intent &of impression from the font itself that makes me wonder about this. Without knowing more about you you imagine the font to be used I would have a hard time suggesting too much more...

I am looking foreward to the next edition.

anastasia's picture

Hi, Doug.
Molars!? That's awesome! Haven't thought of that one. This is the great fun of critiques--hearing about the myriad things different people see in one image.
I saw that you are in SF. I just moved from the city to West Oakland a year ago. I'm studying design at City College and on my way to CCA. What's your story?

anastasia's picture

Hi, Eben.
Yeah, I do know what you mean. This is definitely not the intention. What I was going for was not the "Bone" display type but a text face with the suggestion of organic forms. At small sizes the reader would pick up the overall round flowing feel of it, not immediately making any particular associations. Anyhow, I'm going to pare down the weight of stems and width of the thicker serifs, so hopefully the bone thing will go away.
I do appreciate the honesty--it's nice to know exactly what people think. Keep it coming, please!

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