Business card for my boyfriend's sorbet business

eeblet's picture

Hi all,

This is a straightforward design, but I'm having trouble because my eyes are very unfresh on this project. The logo's theoretically final, but I can tweak the kerning if you have suggestions on that. I'm feeling waffle-y about the border - what I'd really like is an embossed border, but we are on a low budget.

I suppose I should tell you: Scream is a two-person company who'll be selling in SF Bay Area farmer's markets, and then hopefully expanding to a brick-and-mortar store and/or restaurant sales.

This image suffered a bit in the conversion from CMYK to RGB, but it's about right. Again, letter spacing & the border are the things I'm stuck on, although I welcome any thoughts at all.

Thanks!
Beth

ebensorkin's picture

I really like the simplicity of the design and the font choice which seems pretty inspired to me. But the overall effect I get is sort of "toy store". Probably via the colors which feel like paint instead of "food". Also it feels a bit "accessible/easy" rather than "elite/high end". If this was for sale in gas stations you would probably be bang-on; but it isn't. It's snobby foodie SF bay - no? ( my peeps! ) And so I think a softer more subtle color palette would be way more upscale. What about letting one of the puddles run in three rivulets? what about just one wipe of cream behind the letters in an arc? Maybe photographed from behind glass. I think less space between the a & m would be good. Or looser spacing overall to match the a & m. Can this be done in one spot color instead of CMYK? Or two? I guess you are not down with the very fancy decorated thing that's still seems to be all the rage... ;-) I will be interested to hear what the other folk think.

aluminum's picture

I like it, but also agree with Eben.

What if you toned down the color a bit. Keep 'scream' all by itself on the front, and then on the back maybe add just one puddle.

eeblet's picture

Thanks for the spacing suggestions, Eben. And Darrel, I was thinking of doing something to add color to the back - perhaps the border?

As I said in my post, the logo is done - the founders are happy with it, and it strikes a balance between elite/high-end and something that families with kids will flock to at farmer's markets. (And something that won't offend the populist sensibilities of the founders.) As far as the colors go - toy store is good. Every one of those colors are actual colors of sorbets these guys have made, so there will be a nice moment of brand-strengthening when people see how vivid the natural fruit sorbets are (the prickly pear is pretty much 100% M, and the beet-lemon is a fabulous deep crimson).

Anyhoo, if anyone has suggestions on how to work with the existing logo to make the business cards better, I'm all ears! :)

ebensorkin's picture

If populism is the way to go then why not have a block of bright beet root purple pink & knock out white email?

What flavor is as green as that? I want to try them!

eliason's picture

I'd vote against the border. It feels to me like it's trying to be formal, which goes against the colorfulness, lowercase, puddles, even 3-dness of the logo, which says tasty fun. And you want a "clean" surface for the melted food. I'd take it off, at least on the logo side.

All that said, here's an idea out of left field: what would happen if you turned the border into a trapezoid so that it looked more like a counter surface in perspective on which those puddles sit?

eeblet's picture

Thanks for the suggestions. Here are two more versions, with a more loosely spaced "scream" and a colored background. The whitespace is currently too big on the back, but that's to allow for cutting. I'm leaning away from italic - what do you think?

eliason's picture

I like it. Will you need a bit heavier font now that you're reversing out the text on the back?

Could the logo's r-e be too close? Are the a and m still a bit far?

ebensorkin's picture

I think Craig is right about the spacing. I like the back very much. I agree the upright is better because it is consistent with the sensibility established on the front. The italic, less so. If this is CMYK & you are doing 8 up on a sheet ( or whatever ) You could make each back color different - just for fun. What is it like with even rounder corners on that box? They must be excited - no?

Tintin81's picture

I agree, even rounder corners on the back might fit better to the colour splashes on the front. Things that come to mind would be: children, fun, summer, variety, freshness, options, happiness. I only wish I had the design skills you have...

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eeblet's picture

Thanks to you guys, I'm focusing on getting the logo kerned just right - please check out this thread and let me know what you think of my changes. Thanks for your help!

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/eeblet/
Live near Oakland? Now in Jack London Square on Sundays: screamsorbet.com

eeblet's picture

Here's a new version - I'd love your thoughts.

eliason's picture

I mostly like it but see two issues:

1) One potential problem with situating the web address like that is that the lower end of the 2nd s might read as a period on a quick reading: "scream.sorbet.com"

2) Now that it's not an email address, I'm starting to wonder if this is too little information to justify a double-sided card.

Hope that's helpful.

eeblet's picture

Thanks for the input. I'm not convinced that we should make this card - the idea is that it would be a take-away from the farmer's market booth.... but it might be worth it to instead to a small pamphlet that talks about the fresh fruit they use, their process, etc.

Here's a start on a matching card for my boyfriend - I'd do a similar one for his business partner, with a color swap.

Miss Tiffany's picture

Are the puddles supposed to be coming out of the letters? If not, could they? If yes, you could loser the puddles. Right now the letters just feel a bit placed on top. Sorbet doesn't make me scream, more of a sigh, but I like the idea. ;^)

The back feels separate from the front. I'd keep the back simple, black type no color or all pink with white type or nice sorbet yellow with black type.

eeblet's picture

Tiffany, thanks for your feedback (which I only saw just now) - yeah, the logo's staying the same for now. But for the card, I came to a similar conclusion this morning. The white punchout looks better on the price & flavor lists, I think:

By the way, if you live in the Bay Area, eat this sorbet - the beet-lemon flavor might just make you scream. ;)

Hiroshige's picture

Beth, couldn't the sizes be listed:

large
medium
small

Just a thought ...?

beejay's picture

eeblet, this might be too much, but:

what if the melted puddles spelled out sorbet, kinda blobby and subtle.

six puddles, six letters, it might work?

aurelie's picture

What if you use a puddle on the back to tie it into the front?

ebensorkin's picture

My feeling is that the new back while quite fun doesn't go with the front all that well. It's a different style. The old rounded corner box is a better match & it will cost less to print ( no bleed). I would try dropping your info into that & seeing what you get. Another idea would be to take a puddle & use that instead of the rounded corner box. Or just use the white. Maybe that's just fine...

eeblet's picture

Hi Eben, in all the starting madness, I hadn't updated with the actual biz cards we're using. I was going with this approach, 10 different colors total for all the designs:

(Disclaimer - these are attempts are reconstructing the images from a CMYK 300 ppi 10-biz card spread, and so there are some things that are kind of off!)

And then I realized that until we figure out how & where we want them professionally printed, my printer's going to run out of colors too fast.... Plus, simple is nice:

For Nate & Ari's cards, I'm doing a similar treatment (those files are on my laptop!) to this last one.

Thanks for all your input, Eben - when it comes times to send cards to the printer, I'll revisit this thread. The general info card may get replaced by a small pamphlet, but Nate & Ari will eventually want real cards.

ebensorkin's picture

I quite like that last one. It feels direct & simple like the logo. I expect it would do nicely for Nate & Ari.

innovati's picture

THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU

for using the bevel effect to add a beautiful, elegant contribution to this design. It works and looks lovely.

Normally I contemplate withdrawing myself from humanity when bevel gets added to designs, but yours has given me new hope!

eeblet's picture

Heh, thanks! Always glad to give hope. ;)

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eeblet.com

innovati's picture

looks very wonderful and inviting.

It's the kinds of place that I would check out based solely on it's design :)

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