HOLLYWOOD SIGN MELTDOWN LINKED TO GLOBAL WARMING
An inconvenient truth found in the Hollywood Hills

April 1, 2008 - Hollywood Hills, CA - Citizens and tourists alike noticed a
disturbing change over the last few days in the landmark sign. Portions of
the letters are melting off and dripping down the mountainside. Fans have
always tolerated the crooked baseline (due in part to seismic activity) but
the dripping letters have caused widespread alarm among tourists, actors,
scientists and local officials. Font experts at the Ascender Typographic
Preservation Institute (ATyPI) were on the scene analyzing the Hollywood
sign to determine the cause of the dramatic changes.

"We use proprietary algorithms in our hinting software to accommodate
increasing levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. These algorithms
enhance the legibility by optimizing the placement of letters on the
physical grids used to hold billboard fonts" said Thomas Rickner,
world-renowned font software specialist best known for his work on the
Verdana, Tahoma and Georgia fonts for Microsoft. "But the velocity of
pixelation modification in the Hollywood sign is both perplexing and
alarming. I've never seen anything like this before." he added.

The National Commission on Historic Typefaces has engaged Charles Bigelow,
the distinguished Melbert B. Cary Professor at Rochester Institute of
Technology, to conduct a study on the impact of global warming on fonts
exposed to the environment. "We will be analyzing everything from gas pumps
to ancient Greek inscriptions chiseled onto buildings that aren't there
anymore, to see how fonts will change over time," said professor Bigelow.
"As Le Corbusier once said, 'Fonts of the future are usually fonts of the
past.' The only thing we won't be studying is outdoor signage on bank
buildings, since most financial institutions are now adopting Comic Sans as
their corporate font, to better celebrate their recent achievements. We need
to wait until the paint dries before doing further analysis."

Meanwhile, as the famous Hollywood sign continues its decay, the Institute
will attempt to collect portions of letters which have melted and fallen to
prevent them from being sold on EBay.

The enclosed photo was supplied by Dr. Matt Stevenson of the Ascender
Typographic Preservation Institute. No rights reserved.