Typography jokes

Chris Dean's picture
oprion's picture

A kid was often confused,
When setting his p's and his q's
He was very keen on qleasing the pueen
Who wasn't entirely amused!

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Personal Art and Design Portal of Ivan Gulkov
www.ivangdesign.com

Chris Dean's picture

I don't don't watch adds really, but the one in the bottom middle called Legal Copy really made me laugh. And it has type in it!

mili's picture

From the Joy of Tech:

Chris Dean's picture

The fontalist.

Not bad, but type jokes are rare so I'll take what I can get.

dezcom's picture

Two “i”s walk into an hbar. The first i says. I was just ticketed for j walking! The second i says, eszet so! As long s you didn’t get a rested, you can put yourself @ “e”s.

ChrisL

dezcom's picture

Gerry and Klimis walk into a Packed bar in Warsaw and order Gin and Monotonic. Adam Twardoch is in a nearby booth amorously involved with a young lady. Their mutual flirtations become vocal and obvious enough that everyone in the bar is complaining to the bartender. The bartender says something in Polish to the passionate couple. Everyone in the bar cheers. Gerry and Klimis don’t understand Polish so they ask the bartender what he said. The bartender replies, I just said to them “Oh go neck in the park!”

ChrisL

eliason's picture

Can't blame Adam, that Karen was a really hot chick.

dezcom's picture

"that Karen was a really hot chick."

or better, that Caron was a hacek :-)

ChrisL

PublishingMojo's picture

Back in spite of popular demand:

Optima walks into a bar and says "Tino sent me."
Bartender says, "Any Palatino is a pal 'o mine!"

eliason's picture

And as long as we're on the "walks into a bar" genre, there's also my pangram version.

russellm's picture

Funny type jokes

As opposed to the un-funny type?

(hahahaha)

-=®=-

Chris Dean's picture


…but I did not shoot the deputy.

russellm's picture

:o)

nicky2's picture

"You seem somewhat obsessed with fonts" :D :D :D

dezcom's picture

Luckily, I gave my wife flowers ;-)

Chris Dean's picture

Cross posted from a hilarious thread on Chuck Norris:

http://typophile.com/node/79115

Renaissance Man's picture

How do you get a web designer off of your front porch?

Pay for your pizza!

oprion's picture

A spectacle of baldy matched Romance:
A Serif that made out with a Sans.

oprion's picture

One more:

Make sure to type sorts squarely in the face,
To ease the lockup of a strenuous chase.

Chris Dean's picture

Someone else: “It's not the font, but how you use it that counts.”
Me: “Meh. That’s just something people with small fonts say.”

oprion's picture

Oops, that should've been:
Make sure to HIT the TYPE squarely in the face,
To ease the lockup of a strenuous chase.

Té Rowan's picture

"Good Times, Bad Times?" When did Led Zep start comparing Times variants?

Roger S. Nelsson's picture

Two periods were crossing a road. One got run over by a car. The other one turned around and said: "comma!" ;p

dezcom's picture

A type designer was feverishly designing a new font. He had been ignoring natures call as long as he could hold it off. Just as he finished the "O" ran to the bathroom to relieve his overfilled bladder. When he was almost finished, he stopped and ran back to his computer saying, "I have got to go make a P!"

dezcom's picture

...

Renaissance Man's picture

Weren't these supposed to be funny?

Chris Dean's picture

Facial font:

John Hudson's picture

Since we're now posting video links, here's the most elaborate type joke ever.

Chris Dean's picture

Client: “The ‘V’ is too pointy. Can we get a ‘V’ that isn’t pointy?”

Me: “An un-pointy ‘V’ may start to look like a ‘U’…”

Client: “We don’t want a ‘U’. We want a ‘V’ that doesn’t have a point.”

——

From clientsfromhell.com

dezcom's picture

"Poke them in the eye with a pointy stick" ;-)

vilbel's picture

The file of P22 Dada is called "P22 Dada UltraDemiBoldMediumObliqueCondensed.ttf"

Té Rowan's picture

/me looks at font name...

/me falls over with swirly eyes.

Chris Dean's picture

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me
A hilarious song by Weird Al and a great example of kinetic typography.

dezcom's picture

Yes, Té. I am with you on that. Dat B Dada Dude ;-D

snow is nigh's picture

This sketch from xkcd is not really about fonts, but they are honorably mentioned:

http://www.xkcd.com/915/

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