Hi onathanhughes,

Monologue has started quite well and it will evolve quite nicely eventually.
The relative widths of the capitals and the lower case letterforms could be similar to those of Eurostile Next Condensed. Or even better. go to the following link and look at typefaces in the same species as ‘Monologue’, actually Monologue looks more than the typefaces on the following link than DINish….

EUROSTILISH

http://www.identifont.com/list?3+Eurostile%20Condensed+1+IE8+7+N8N+7+J3V...

You will find there 29 typefaces with relatively similar attributes.

DINish

http://www.identifont.com/find?similar=DIN&q=Go

You will find there 29 typefaces with relatively similar DINish attributes.

The construction of lower case ‘s’ is better than that of capital ‘S’.

‘Some concerns I have are about width (D, J, M, S, W, m), and the balance of upper and lower parts (g, S).’

D: looks relatively OK.
J: It could either drop below the baseline for better spacing or it could have the lower part of ‘C’ reflected but shoter.
M: A little wider and with ink traps added.
S: C, G, S, a, c, J, j and y they would better have similar ‘beaks’ – ‘stroke endings’. Either like those of ’C’ or ‘G’, or even just straight horizontal.
W: Make it a little wider and add ink traps.
m: In relation to ‘n’ it looks relatively OK.
S: The diagonal stroke should move a little downwards and very slightly the diagonal of ‘s’.
g: Its ear on the x-height should be a little longer.
j, y: the end-stroke below the baseline could become a little horizintalized.

The metrics need fine tuning.

I hope all the above will be of some use.

By the way I just posted some more things to Critique/San Serif/ Doric, you are welcome to tell me what you think about it.

Cheers
Boris

I am working on it offline... I will upload a nw version soon.