How can I make this better?

Hi everybody,
I'm a student of master in graphic design and I'm building a new typeface. It's a remake of a hand lettering. The original draw was made by a Oporto's seller.

Here is http://typophile.com/files/hamburg.jpg

I'm showing here for ask your contribution and opinion. I have many doubts about how I can adapt the original design for new caracters. Can anyone help me?
Please, say what do you think about. Sugestions and critics are welcome.
Thanks.

Arlo Vance's picture

The new version seems too formulaic. It's lost the personality of the original. Take some of the quirky details in the original and find places for them to be interjected into the newer version.

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