What's wrong with my "adhesion"?

kosal's picture

I can't seem to pinpoint why this black weight I'm working on looks off. I'm not getting a nice rhythm with it.

A distinguishing characteristic of the face is that the e has a curved starting stroke, so that needs to be kept. Everything else is meh... Any pointers?

J Weltin's picture

Well, d, h, o (which seems to be too light) and n have a completely different structure. There is nothing of the flow that inherits a, e and s. Also the i is missing this.

J Weltin's picture

Apart from that the beginning stroke and the ending one of e are too close together.

Birdseeding's picture

Yes, that last one I ws just about to mention - look at the different apertures and the shape of the counters of the a, s and e.

cerulean's picture

The e is light and lacks stress. The left side should be at least as heavy as the verticals. The bowl of the d is a little bit too heavy. These round shapes should look more similar. Set the word "ode" to get a better look without distractions.

Bendy's picture

The e is the problem. The eye is too big (compare with the bowl of the a) and I think dips too far down. Also the top looks like it's a bit sheared to the right.

The s seems to have too much stress (top and bottom are much lighter than the hood of a for example).

Otherwise I really like it :)

kosal's picture

Thanks for all the comments I'm noticing some drastic improvements already.

PabloImpallari's picture

My 2 cents:
a, e and s have a very nice personality.
d, h, i, o, n seems too generic to me.
Maybe you can (somehow) translate some of the nice personality from the 1rs group into the second.

Hope it helps

Gary Lonergan's picture

Did you do the type design course at Reading as they use the word adhesion for testing?. I'm guessing you know about the adhesion text site where you could generate some copy based on those 8 characters. Until you set some text the real problems won't show up. As Pablo said the a. e, and s, have nice sharp angles while the rest need somthing to echo that. Have you tried having a right foot serif same as "a" on "d" "h" "i" "o" and "n" KEEP GOING

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