Chuck Norris in the field of typography

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Miha's picture
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Joined: 27 Jan 2008 - 2:59pm
Chuck Norris in the field of typography
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In the beginning was the Word. Then Chuck added other letters, numbers and signs.

Some letters are so afraid of Chuck Norris that they form ligatures.

FontLab never crashes for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can tell whether the font is Arial or Helvetica – blindfolded.

Chuck Norris can literally draw a space glyph.

Chuck Norris knows where the circle begins.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have to make spacing and kerning, glyphs do that themselves.

Chuck Norris can use zoom tool in FontLab up to the point where you can see specific atoms.

It’s better not to see typefaces as good or bad; there is just a list of permitted fonts allowed to be (ab)used. List made by you know who.

Chuck Norris doesn’t like children. That’s why Comic Sans is on that list.

Chuck Norris once started designing a typeface when he was drunk. That night the “w” was born.

Feel free to add other facts or image material.

Ed Aranda's picture
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Joined: 31 May 2009 - 12:03am
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Not exactly type-related, but in the same realm (a favorite, but not an original):

Chuck Norris can SPEAK Braille

Ed Aranda's picture
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Joined: 31 May 2009 - 12:03am
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Chuck Norris doesn't set type – he just throws all the letters together and expects each to know its role in his sentence.

Theunis de Jong's picture
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Joined: 22 Apr 2008 - 5:06pm
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Chuck Norris only creates one weight per font: Extra Bold.

Nick Shinn's picture
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Joined: 8 Jul 2003 - 11:00am
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No flush left. Everything Chuck does is justified.

Alexander Katt's picture
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Joined: 6 Oct 2010 - 9:53am
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"Chuck Norris only creates one weight per font: Extra Bold."

...and then roundhouse-kicks it to create italic.

Frode Bo Helland's picture
Joined: 26 Feb 2007 - 1:03pm
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Chuck Norris scared the Venetians straight.

Theunis de Jong's picture
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Chuck Norris doesn't use the word "tittle".

Kosal Sen's picture
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Joined: 12 Jul 2004 - 1:42am
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Chuck Norris whispers in all caps.

Brock French's picture
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Joined: 14 Sep 2007 - 5:01am
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Chuck Norris leaves widows and orphans in his wake.

Chris Lozos's picture
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Joined: 25 Feb 2004 - 11:00am
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Chuck Norris only makes kick-ass type.

Michael Duggan's picture
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Joined: 6 Feb 2005 - 11:54am
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Chuck Norris likes whole, not sub - pixels.

Theunis de Jong's picture
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Joined: 22 Apr 2008 - 5:06pm
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The industry had to abandon hot lead typesetting when Chuck Norris snorted it all up.

Craig Eliason's picture
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Joined: 19 Mar 2004 - 1:44pm
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Chuck Norris uses a three-story /a/.

John Lyttle's picture
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Joined: 24 Jun 2009 - 1:13pm
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Did you know that every question mark Chuck Norris designs is actually an interrobang‽

Theunis de Jong's picture
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Chuck Norris makes wood type by biting bits off a tree.

Reynir Heiðberg Stefánsson's picture
Joined: 19 Nov 2010 - 11:15am
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Chuck Norris handcuts the mats... with his fingernails.

Ed Aranda's picture
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“Myriad” was aptly named following a demonstration of how many ways Chuck Norris can kill a man.

Russell McGorman's picture
Joined: 25 May 2006 - 10:01am
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Chuck Norris redesigned Helvetica. Now it actually is Switzerland.

santiago orozco's picture
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Joined: 12 Jul 2009 - 12:47pm
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Chuck Norris hinted Verdana by punching the monitor.

Justin Chodzko's picture
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Joined: 21 Apr 2008 - 7:32am
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Chuck Norris doesn’t need one of these:

He’ll letterpress your wedding invitations with his bare hands.

Frode Bo Helland's picture
Joined: 26 Feb 2007 - 1:03pm
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Chuck Norris have intimate knowledge of Mrs. Eaves' bezier curves.

Frode Bo Helland's picture
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Frode Bo Helland's picture
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Chuck Norris' bloodtype is woodtype.

Ed Aranda's picture
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Chuck Norris’ keyboard ...

Justin Chodzko's picture
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Joined: 21 Apr 2008 - 7:32am
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Chuck Norris can do embossing and die-cutting with an inkjet.

Dan Hall's picture
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Joined: 13 Oct 2005 - 2:40pm
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Chuck Norris doesn't work in the real world. All of his characters are fictional.

Chris Lozos's picture
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Joined: 25 Feb 2004 - 11:00am
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Chuck Norris can kick you in the nut fractions in< 1/4 of a second.

Eric Hague's picture
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Joined: 16 Feb 2007 - 10:31am
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Robert Bringhurst returned from Chuck Norris's house with two stone tablets on which were inscribed the Elements of Typographic Style.

"Optically corrected," "monolinear" stroke widths look grotesquely modulated to Chuck Norris's perfect eyes.

Theunis de Jong's picture
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Joined: 22 Apr 2008 - 5:06pm
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The ellipsis was designed after the imprint of Chuck Norris' knuckles on the Trajan Column.

Eric Hague's picture
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Joined: 16 Feb 2007 - 10:31am
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Chuck Norris once designed an eminently readable pixel font with a 1px cap height.

Miha's picture
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Joined: 27 Jan 2008 - 2:59pm
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Chuck Norris once designed an eminently readable pixel font with a 1px cap height.
With subscript and superscript nicely done, of course.

Nick Shinn's picture
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Joined: 8 Jul 2003 - 11:00am
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Chuck Norris once designed a hairline font so thin that only he could see it.

Ed Aranda's picture
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Chuck Norris successfully created a ligature that tells his entire life story, from conception to 5,000 years in the future.

Reynir Heiðberg Stefánsson's picture
Joined: 19 Nov 2010 - 11:15am
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A Chuck Norris glare is sufficient to uncrash any piece of software. Even Windows.

Arno Enslin's picture
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Joined: 30 Jun 2009 - 3:48am
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Chuck Norris can jump over thousand lazy dogs at a stroke.

Spindly Bastard, Fat Bastard, Even Fatter Bastard, Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can smell the IP of font-file-sharers.

Theunis de Jong's picture
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Any font recommended by Chuck Norris for a logo is the perfect choice. Any font at all.

Ed Aranda's picture
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Chuck Norris created the first two-story ‘a’ when he physically uppercutted his birth certificate at the sight of his name being mis-spelled “Chuck Narris”.

Arno Enslin's picture
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Chuck Norris doesn’t punch cripples. So many serifs decided for self-amputation.

Reynir Heiðberg Stefánsson's picture
Joined: 19 Nov 2010 - 11:15am
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An Inserat is a Bold after a Chuck Norris slap.

Arno Enslin's picture
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There is an Unicode point reserved for Chuck Norris’ DNA-ligature.

If Chuck Norris would be your teacher, you would delta hint your fonts, because you want to stay alive.

Chuck Norris can compile the OT features of Operina Pro with his brain.

Be grateful, that Chuck Norris allows you to use C, h, u, c, k, N, o, r, i and s.

Chuck Norris’ hairlines are extrablack.

Ed Aranda's picture
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Joined: 31 May 2009 - 12:03am
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All of the letters in Chuck's font have apertures — or as he likes to call them — “targets”.

Pedro Gonzalez's picture
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Joined: 29 Apr 2008 - 4:39am
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Chuck Norris create the entire alphabets on planet, then he manage the universal knowledge about all things. and I guess he don't need to know what we talk about him on this forum.. xD

Norbert Florendo's picture
Joined: 9 Jun 2005 - 2:21pm
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Chuck Norris' em square is actually an octagon and his em dash is the longest ever seen.
When asked why is lowercase had no descenders he quipt "I go down for no one!"
He has a legendary sucker-punchcutter takedown and created the quaddbls to spell "ßßhit!"
Chuck can take a • to his head and † or ‡ can't pierce his flesh.

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Chuck Norris designed a sans with serifs.

Chuck Norris can say "tittle" without laughing.

Chuck Norris can use a glyph palette in Photoshop.

Ed Aranda's picture
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Chuck Norris can use Comic Sans tastefully.

Ed Aranda's picture
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Chuck Norris refuses to say the word “Frutiger” — he prefers the more manly “Meatiger”.

Chuck Norris designed a font family with 1,000 weights, starting with Ultra Black.

Chuck Norris’ font is so bold ... How bold is it? ... It’s so bold, that when printed, it simply soaks your entire page in black ink.

Jacques Le Bailly's picture
Joined: 21 Dec 2001 - 2:09pm
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to make ball endings on serif faces

Bones's picture
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Chuck Norris’ font is so bold ... How bold is it? ... It’s so bold, that when printed, it simply soaks your entire page in black ink.

But, despite this, the resulting text is still both readable and legible.

Eric Hague's picture
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Joined: 16 Feb 2007 - 10:31am
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The Gs in Chuck Norris's fonts have beards. So do all the other letters.

Eric Hague's picture
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Chuck Norris once designed a font called Snell Roundhousekick.