Here is an update,

I wasn't sure at first about Paul's comment (in the handwriting thread) for thinning but after messing with it, I was more convinced. I think it will help improve legibility at small sizes which is nice. I worked on thinning the letters and getting more uniformity with my thick and thins, baseline and heights. I also tried to change the s a bit so it wouldn't look like a "y" (got the comment from 2 people now).

I know this needs more work, any other pointers would be very appreciated :-)

danslevent4.swf (2.7 k)

In my opinion the new version looks better. The "a" has a bit weird shape maybe.

I'm going to throw in my symbol for critique as well. Here is 2 jpgs, one with thinner type and one with bolder type (my first version that is not reworked). Fyi, I didn't really put any time into positioning for the symbol, just put them next to each other.

Here is my issue, I like both things seperately but I'm not sure if they fit together anymore! Of course I could rework the symbol to try make it fit more with the type. I like the contrast straight-pointy/curve-smooth, at the same time I wonder it is really beneficial to the overall aspect.

I feel the symbol is crushing the light type but I think the light type looks more sophisticated and legible in small...

Any thoughts?

I like that last direction of softening the wave. I think you'll need to open up that highlight on the boat, at least for small applications.

I prefer the weightier stroke. You just need to raise the lower "s" curve (might require pushing it out a little too) so that it doesn't dip so far below the baseline

What about putting the type and symbol together? Does anyone else feel it might not be the best combination? It was fine when I did it on paper but I don't feel it as much now that it's all traced and clean. I'm wondering if I should let one or the other fall and try for other options.

The symbol doesn't really support the text. Is it a yacht (as in the wind would lead me to suppose)? The waves in the first symbol also made me feel the boat was going away from the viewer. As Kemie noted the boat might be improved by painting it with a loose brush and don't be too scrupulous about cleaning up the digitisation. The heavier text is my preferred option and the changes Scott proposed for the s would help, however I think in the process of cleaning up your sketch you have lost the spontaneity of the original. The a might be better with a loop at the top where it connects to the D and similarly the top of the s and the first n.
Tim

Why not use any method you wish, true the final logo will have to be scanned at a high resolution. Computers can be so limiting.
Tim