Reopened thread: Seeking critique on my first typeface

manushi parikh's picture

I am taking the liberty of creating this new post since the previous thread was quite old and I presumed that it would go unnoticed. Anyway for Hrant, Brainskywalker, Roger Waters and others, I would really appreciate it if more feedback is given on the newly added lowercase to my typeface.

I am attaching the new pdf with the designed characters along with some sample text.

Your feedback is extremely valuable and will help me progress further as it did previously.

To read the previous thread please go here

Thanks!
Manushi

AttachmentSize
170412_Jyamiti Sans.pdf56.52 KB
270412_Jyamiti Sans.pdf54.43 KB
hrant's picture

If you want this to be more texty, shorten the descenders (or raise the ascenders, but then also probably the cap height).

The "Q" is too brutish.

The "S" and "s" need more weight in the spine than the rest.

The "g" is too heavy at the bottom.

I like the "?", but the "&" is malformed.

hhp

manushi parikh's picture

Thanks Hrant. I agree with you mostly and will make the required changes and keep you updated, but concerning the 'Q' it would be better if you could point out as to which specific option do you think needs work and should be worked on.

LexLuengas's picture

Cum grano salis:

Specially your «&» needs more overshoot, but in general the entire lowercase lacks of it.
«v»,«w», «y», etc. need optical correction, and that is, making the right stem a bit thinner than the opposing left stem to make them look equally thick.
The crossbars in «t» and «f» could be a tad thinner.
«c» is too wide.
I'd take Option D for that «Q», but the tail could be shorter.
Option A for the sake of «k»!

Keep on polishing that letters! :-)

sim's picture

Even thought the ampersand have some style I think he needs attention. He looks a bit squeeze like somebody in a too small coat or it seems a bit intimidated. The top is too big and the bottom too small. It also could be a bit larger.

manushi parikh's picture

Hi this is a quick response to some change made in the ampersand. The one on the left is the newly changed ampersand. Please feel free to suggest further changes.

manushi parikh's picture

As for 'Q', I have made the tail a little shorter for the option D. Does this work better? If no, any suggestions?Or should probably try something completely different?

sim's picture

The update you've done looks better, but I think the problem comes from the axe of your ampersand. It seems to fall on the right side. Also, the oblique is too short, or the bottom should be lower than the baseline. Sorry I can't insert an image :-/

sim's picture

Here my suggestion on your ampersand

hrant's picture

Plus open the head.

hhp

manushi parikh's picture

Thanks Sim and Hrant. Thank you Sim especially for the illustrative feedback(helped me understand better). Here are the changes made accordingly. The one on the right is the changed ampersand.

Since I am just a beginner I would welcome any further changes.
P.S. All the feedback has greatly helped me increase my knowledge as well as understand type design much better. Thank you again!

sim's picture

It is hard to see any changes with this kind of image. On my side I still see an oblique axe on both ampersand. I suggest to you to work on other letters you will probably understand what I mean on the next time you will see it. I think you have to work a bit on the counter of the D, looks how you've drawn the RBP counter and do something similar to the D. Those one have a short straight line on the left side of the stem at the top and bottom of the counter, however the one in the D starts to bend quickly. Keep going.

manushi parikh's picture

Hey Sim, Hrant, Lex and everybody here. I have made the suggested changes in my font and also added numbers and other punctuation marks. It would be really kind of all of you if you could spare some time and go through the newly attached pdf and suggest further changes or anything that you might feel is not working or is not right.

P.S. I am still unsure about the 'Q' so I have filled in the previous one for the time being.

Thanks!
Manushi

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