• Paul Hunt
Despite my best intentions, the work you did for me to improve my Whiz-Bang Woodtype line never saw the light of day. First off, Miss Tiffany clued me into a Russian website which was supposedly giving my commercial fonts away. Unfortunately, she was on a Mac and I was on a PC. Four pages or so into the site, my Windows 2000 machine got infected with a virus so aggressive that I fried my hard drive, trying to contain it. Lessons learned too late: back up critical files often. All your work got nuked in the process.
Then, six months later, my avocation became a full-time job, when I got downsized. Still, I owe you for the valuable lessons you taught me. If you can find out from MyFonts and Monotype what my net sales were from the time you did the work until now, I will pay you the promised 50%—up to $1,000 now, and the balance as I can earn it, in one way or another, from my tarnished brand.
• To the folks at P22
Another casualty of the above crash was Julia O’Connor’s address. I owe her 50% of net sales from Jimbatz NF. I am confident that you have an equally fair arrangement with her. Get me the figures, and I will fulfill my part of our handshake-only deal before pulling the plug.
• Jonathan Martz
Girls Are Weird inspired Boyz R Gross NF; same deal.
• Stephen Coles
If you still cannot forgive me for the unpardonable sin of ignorance of your reverence for the late Doyald Young, contact Dave Simpson at Sign DNA, who purchased the “rights” to Creampuff for $167, and has been selling it for the past 11 years or so as Waldo. See how generous he is, and cut me some slack, dude.